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[Dr Memory]

I present for (hopefully) your pleasure and your comments the fifth episode of New Beginnings "I Think Ecchi Is..."

As always, I ask for your comments.  I really do take them into consideration when I do my revisions.  I need them, even if you hate what you read.

PS
If you do not have episodes 1-4, they can be found in the other "New Beginnings" thread.  Please read them first, otherwise some things in this episode just won't make any sense.

[Dr Memory]

And now for the next episode in the continuing series "Mahoromatic -- New Beginnings -- The Maid's Weekend Off"

Those who have been following the Manga will find some of the scenes familiar.  I used them as a base for expansion.  Read and you'll see what I mean.

Also, I am going to start publishing on "Fanfiction.net", the same as here, one episode a week.  The difference is while you get to preview episode six this week, they will get to see episode one.

So, as I've said before, your comments are all very important to me.  Please let me know what you think, even if you hate it.

PS
I have just finished episode one of season four and am working on episode two.  I still don't have a working title for season four (like season three is "New Beginnings") but it will follow in a time line right after season three.  I have nineteen stories already outlined, but as season three progresses I would be interested in ideas for other stories.  Think about it.

[Makaveli]

Sorry for the huge delay since my last reply, i've been really busy with work recently.



Episode 5: I Think Ecchi Is…

At first from the preview in the previous episode and the start of this episode I expected this to be very light hearted and to end up being a lot like the summer special episode, I was plesently mistaken.

This episode really showed how the characters have changed there fealings towards each other over the course of the 3 seasons to date, The fact that Suguru wanted Mahoro to find the magazine and that it amused him when she did made me smile, the backstory with Mahoro's school life was well written too and I liked the ending of this episode - finally the series is heading in the direction I wish the 'real' show had gone.

I'm trying to think of something I can say that will help you in future revisions but im struggling, I really really enjoyed this episode, In fact I think its my favourite so far.



Episode 6: The Maid’s Weekend Off

I like what you did here, you took the manga story and expanded it, offering some story into why Shikijo acts the way she does, in fact I gotta confess it made me feel a bit sorry for her.

Overall it was a good ep, I did miss not seeing any new developments in the Suguru-Mahoro relationship but I can live with that being backseat to Shikijo backstory, a nice ending on this too, I'm very interested in reading the next episode.

[Dr Memory]

Thank you

At the moment I am working at a bit of a disadvantage.  The English version of the forum that I usually use seems to be off line so I am working my way through the french (At this point I might actually have better luck if it were in Japanese).

The fact that you were plesently surprised with the direction of the story makes me feel good.  If you weren't surprised then there would be no point in writing the story.  Episode 7 will be posted sometime on Sunday.

I've posted episode 1 on "www.Fanfiction.net", where I will also post one episode a week (about five weeks behind here, so you will still get the first public view of the episode)

Again, thank you for taking the time to read my story and to take the time to let me know what you think about it.

[[RafaL]AxelTerizaki]

I would like to read your story but I haven't got much time for it so far. I have it stored on my PDA though.

The forum is indeed, in French by default. However, you can put it back in English in your Profile (link "Profil" on the top buttons)

From there, click on "Paramètres relatifs au compte" on your left, and a settings page should appear "Langue préférée" lets you choose between French and English

(you might have to submit this twice I think for it to switch to English completely but I'm not too sure)

I'll try to put back the default language to English for newcomers and people not logged in, but I'm afraid the migration from phpBB threw everyone into French mode.

I apologize for this.

Also, is there any problems with attaching files to posts? Just wondering (being admin, this works just fine but there seems to be a permissions problem)

EDIT: I changed Dr Memory and some other regulars of the forum into english. If it didn't work for whoever reads this, apply what I just said

[Dr Memory]

Thank you very much.  Everything seems to be in English now (at least what I need to use).  I will let you know about downloads on Sunday.

By the way, the link through Mahorosan.net (the couch) seems to be broken.  That is the way I usually access the forum. 

Thank you for providing a platform to have my work reviewed.

[[RafaL]AxelTerizaki]

Ha, good point about Mahoro's Dream link. I'll look into that laters

[Dr Memory]

I have run into a problem.  The attachments option is apparently not activated for my account.  I guess I will need that option ativated if I want to submit any more episodes.  I will have episode 7 on line as soon as I can.  Thank you

[[RafaL]AxelTerizaki]

Okay, I'll try to see what I can do for this one.

[Dr Memory]

Well it is still Sunday here, at least for a few minutes

I now present for your reading pleasure (or not) "Mahoromatic -- New Beginnings -- Episode 7 -- Departure".

As always, I would appreciate any comment (positive and especially negative) you might have.

[Makaveli]

Hey Dr,

Again, sorry for the time it took for me to post comments, I've spent the week in bed with flu, not nice

I expected Suguru's announcement to be some sort of trip into space and to be honest, I wasen't looking forward to this episode as much as I did with some of the previous episodes.
However, I was very surprised, this ep was very very good, in fact it almost edged out episode 5 as my favorite so far.
I guess that the trip to space thing would make things very sci-fi, with a bigger emphasis on the science fiction stuff and less on the romantic comedy, but I was wrong.

I feel like hell, so I wont be going as in depth about this ep as I have in the past, but the things I really enjoyed in this ep are.

* Miyuki's feelings for Suguru - In the past (Anime) it appeared as if all 3 girls had bit of a crush on him, it now appears as if Rin and Chizu have given up on that with Mahoro's presence, Miyuki though still has a thing for him and is upset at the closeness Suguru and Mahoro have, I'm really interested in seeing where this goes.

* Mahoro's conversation with Hokato - Possibly my favourite scene in the series so far, It kept the comedy alive with Mahoro's embarrassment but it really opened something up with that baby stuff, the fact that there is a possibility that she could carry a child open's up a lot of questions and I cant wait to find out what Saint tell her about this.

* Backstory - It was nice to find out a little more about the hot spring that has featured in many of Mahoro's flashbacks.

[Dr Memory]

And here for you reading (oh and wouldn't it be great to some day say viewing pleasure) Mahoromatic -- New Beginnings -- Episode 8 -- Flight.

As always, I look forward to your comments and critcisms.  It helps me with my revision process on future episodes and on the new work that I am doing (Episode 3 of a fourth season)

Thank yoy for your consideration of my work.

Dr. Memory

[cnjgp7]

Dr. Memory,

I only recently watched through the animes, and only a couple days ago found this forum.  I've been reading your story in my spare time, and love what you are doing here.  This is a much better ending/continuation than episode 14 in season 2.  There is very little that I'm not happy with, and so much more that really helps develop the characters, making the read very interesting and keeping my interest.  The only three things I don't like at this stage are how Shikijo-sensei changed, the long-term plot, and Ryuga.  Don't get me wrong.  I think the story is great and really has me hooked so far, and I only point out these three since you asked for negative comments.

Shikijo-sensei has definitely turned for the better, but I'm not sure it's entirely believable (to me at least) that she would turn nearly a complete 180 degrees in only a couple weeks' time.  Then again, the thought of death and guilt can do a lot.  My idea for her would be that she would have changed towards Suguru and Mahoro most, but only somewhat to everyone else.  Again, just a minor thing, and not really distracting from the rest of the story.

As for the plot-development, it seems this "season" is focused mostly on character development, not some other overriding issue or fight.  i.e. Season 1 developed into the fight between Mahoro and Ryuga, and season 2 turned into both the capture of Mahoro and the final battle ending the war.  These plots really helped pull everything to a tighter conclusion, and I hope you have something similar planned for this season.  Being that it's 26 episodes, it's still young, though the episodes at this point don't have me wondering too much past the next one or two episodes.  Is there going to be something a little bigger to start tying it all together?  I've seen hints that there will be a battle with the remainder of the Keeper, including some foes like Ferdelance from Kannon, but nothing really leading that way yet.  If it's going that way, or some other way, great, please don't reveal the plot.  This is just what I've thought so far, that's all.

Last, I'm surprised Ryuga and Sara will live as humans.  Ryuga is still far from the end of his useful lifespan, and Saint knows that there are still Keeper remnants taht will need to be taken care of.  Is there a reason why Ryuga is allowed to remove his armaments and live with the humans?  It's obvious he has some pull with Saint to be able to do what he already has done in the anime, but does he have that much pull?  This is probably the most minor detail, but just something I thought about.  I always find stupid nitpicky issues, sorry.

Again, these are minor issues, and I believe anyone who liked the anime should read this and will thoroughly enjoy it.  The character development really is great and the story is developing many of the areas that were either unanswered in the anime or left hanging, not to mention it is developing better than the anime ended -- much better.  Thanks for writing these, and I look forward to the remaining installments!!

Chris

[Dr Memory]

Before I say anything else, I deeply wish to thank you for your comments.  It is sometimes the most nitpicking item that can mess up the reasonable developement of a plot.

If you think abou Shikijo's behavior in all of the episodes in the first and second season (at least past episode 3 of the first season)  it becomes quite obvious that the only person she wants to impress is Suguru and she quite ignores the other male characters.  Maybe a 180 turn was a bit too much, but then again it does emphacise what here feelings toward Suguru were and really tells you how insecure she really is.

You are right.  There is a lack of what you might call traditional "action" and quite a bit is devoted to "character developement".  But remember, conflict can creep in where you least expect it.

Ryuga has other reasons for his turn to humanity.  It is also a bit of commentary on the nature of androids.

And now without further adou, I present "Mahoromatic -- New Beginnings -- Episode 9 -- Reunion"

Your comments are important to me.  Some effect my revisions as I present season three, but they have a much larger impact as I work on writing season 4 (which still does not have a working title, although there will be more traditional action in season four, so if you can suggest something, I would appreciate it)

[Makaveli]

Hey all

This a quick look at the most recent episode and some of my thoughts on the comments by Cnjgp7.

Ep 9 - I liked the episode although I didn't get into it as much as past episodes tho I believe this is mainly due to the fact that the Suguru/Mahoro romance interests me more than the development of other characters , and I liked the way you brought Silvaplanna into the story, but there were 2 things in this episode that I wasn't so sure about.

1. Hamaji and Minawa - We have always known that Hamaji has had a crush on Minawa and that Minawa liked him, but I just feel you sorta jumped the gun a bit by having them both confess there feelings straight away. I get the feeling from the anime that Minawa liked him but wasn't really in love with him, at least not yet.
I think I would have had Hamaji confess his love to her but have Minawa struggle with her feelings a bit.

2. Leesha - I liked the way you have brought in the infamous Season 2 Final Episode as a dream or vision, again the Silvaplanna mention is a good idea and its interesting to see where you take this story but I was very surprised at the way Suguru reacted to the news that Leesha was his grandmother.
He sorta suspected who she was from his dream but wouldn't he be a bit angry at her? when his parents died, she wasn't there, when his grandfather and Mahoro died, again she wasn't there. I dunno about you but if I had family that knew about these terrible things that had happened to me at such a young age but stood back and did nothing, I'd be furious with them.

These 2 points make up a large chunk of the episode, but please don't feel that I disliked it, I did enjoy it, and I must say that I love your endings, the episodes always end when I wanna know more I'm hooked.

Now onto some of the points Cnjgp7 brought up.

Shikijo-sensei, yeah she has changed allot, and like you I think its all for the better, it always felt to me that her only purpose in the anime was to provide some ecchi, comedy and act as an annoyance to Mahoro, its nice to see her with a bit of personality and now she feels like one of the gang, I honestly believe that Dr.Memory has done a better job with her character than the original writers.

Ryuga, prior to his battle with Mahoro, the only thing on his mind was revenge. He took a role on earth as a teacher to study Suguru and see why Vespers greatest warrior was protecting him so closely.
I think what he found shook him, he saw Suguru ready to give his life in an instant for someone he cared about, and witnessed Mahoro ready to use the last remaining power she had to fight for Suguru when before she was ready to let Ryuga finish her off.
I think he see's what Mahoro has made of her life since she left active combat and he also wants to live a life like that.

Sera, she's a tricky one, recently I've noticed that she has been missing throughout a number of scenes I would have expected her to attend, such as greeting Leesha and Minawas arrival and party - something tells me she will play a much bigger part later on.

On another note I've just put all the episodes you have written on my PSP, It'll give me a chance to read through all of the episodes on a long train journey I've got this week.