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[cnjgp7]

I just read through Episode 9, and I'm still hooked.  I'm glad you're willing to put your thoughts "onto paper", Dr. Memory.  I only have one major comment on episode 9, and it's right in line with what Makaveli posted.  It caught me way off guard that Minawa professed her love for Hamaji, even made me a little upset at the plot development (in this respect only!).  I agree that the anime left the idea that Minawa was still trying to figure out what love was, and try to figure out Hamaji -- partly because Mahoro pushed her, if I remember, and not so much because she even might love Hamaji.  I think it could have left more to help develop Minawa's person had they not gone directly into "I love you", not to mention leaving a bigger gap between Mahoro's and Suguru's relationship.  As Minawa learned what love was, maybe she would have second thoughts on if she truly loved Hamaji, with her real feelings towards "whoever" coming out later on.  That aside, I again thought this was a great episode!

In looking back at Makaveli's comments on my last posting, I can now see how Ryuga's and Sera's persons are playing out, and can agree with it.  I can even see Shikijo-sensei's transformation more, though I'm still not sure about the 180 degree turn.  It's true that she was more there as the dumb sidekick, so I agree I'm glad that she is turning into more of a character.  It's good that she's still retaining some of the comedy relief aspect, though I believe less than a 180 degree turn could have left for a little more comedy, without all the ecchi taking away from the story like the anime had.  Thanks for the insights, Makaveli!

Now for some other observations I would like to make.  Makaveli - I don't agree completely with your take on Suguru's reaction to finding the truth about Leesha.  Suguru's been so concerned about not having any family that I think he reacted properly when he found that he had a relative.  You do bring up a good point though, and I think as Suguru realizes what this means, his emotions towards Leesha can have a hint of anger that will make the relationship... "interesting"... and make for more good plot (or comedy, however you write it in).

I do agree completely with Makaveli's comment on bringing Silvaplanet into the story.  In fact, every episode has a bunch of little things, some not so little, that reference the anime, and this really helps bring it all together and make it truly seem like a cohesive story.  Thanks, Dr. Memory!

The only other comment I have at this point is that I will be disappointed if it turns out Mahoro can have kids.  Knowing what I know about reproductive systems, it doesn't seem even remotely feasible that even Saint would have thought this into her creation.  The anime portrayed Mahoro (in my mind) as more machine than human, physically, but with emotions and a heart of a human.  The idea was that this was done so that the androids could think and learn critical lessons, not so that they could live with other living creatures.  The fact that Mahoro can have sex, or so the story has led, gets real close to the line in my mind.  Going too far I think violates what Mahoro is, what she has been portrayed to be in the anime, and really loses the idea that she's a machine and Suguru is not, a fact that in my mind should haunt the two forever.  It's just the evil twist of fate that will be needed to really help drive the plot, in my mind, and help keep the feel of one of the largest conflicts in the anime.  Then again, this is my thought, not Dr. Memory's.  I will continue to read the story no matter where it goes.

Again, Dr. Memory, please take these comments with a grain of salt.  I really do appreciate your thoughts and ideas, and I'm glad someone with your creativity is willing to continue this great story!  I'm thoroughly enjoying each read!

Till next time...
Chris

[Dr Memory]

Thank you very much for your commentary.  Based on it is have done some minor tweaks of several future stories.  No wholesale changes mind you, but you did point out a few things that I missed.

I'd like to make two comments on the concept of Mahoro being able to have children.  Whether Mahoro can or cannot actually have children at the moment is of little consequence, only the possibility.  I'd like you to consider that if there is no possible consequence, there is nothing stopping Suguru from boinking Mahoro five times a night and twice during the  day  (except maybe exhaustion).  Secondly, the Mahoro of my story (season three and beyond) is not the same Mahoro of season one and two.  We already know that the android body she has is different than before, built to very special specifications and (possibly) with a purpose in mind.  Mahoro (like Shikijo) has been through some very dramatic, life changing events.

Whether Mahoro actually can have children is not a topic for today.  We will just have to wait and see how things play out.

[Dr Memory]

Greetings all

I submit for your comments Episode 10 of Mahoromatic -- New Beginnings -- Matthew.

As I commneted in my previous post, I took into consideration several of your comments and made some tweeks to the dialog.  Usually just changing one word or in several places adding a pause (the three periods).  Several things you commented about were already addressed in future episodes.

I thank you again for your comments.  I value your comments (especially about things that bother you).

[Makaveli]

Hey Doc,

Another good episode.

It looks like the twins are going to be involved a lot more from now on, to be honest I'm not really warming to them, at the moment they dont interest me a great deal, but I think there are a couple of reasons to this and none of them are a result of your writing.
The main reason is that I can't really picture them, with all of the other characters I know exactly how they look and how they sound, because of this I can really imagine Mahoro saying the things you have written, the same with the other characters - I guess I've not really decided in my head how they look and sound.
The second reason is really that I think I might be making this comment a bit early, I should really give it a few more episodes before I decide I dont like them

I always imagined Matthew being some sort of presence, more like a voice in your head than a physical person, but from the ending of this episode, Matthew being a person should be much more interesting.

Now onto the ending of the ep,  wow, I never saw that coming, first the voice/presence of Yuichiro, and then finding out that Matthew looks just like Suguru, that really shocked me, I really wanna read the next episode 

[cnjgp7]

Dr. Memory,

Thanks for another great episode.  The plot is now getting very interesting after the way you left us all hanging this time!  I can't wait for the next episode.  I have a vague idea of where you might be going with the way you ended the episode, but I don't want to say, in case I'm right and I spoil the story for me.  I kind of guessed that the twins would be coming to Earth, but this confirms it.  I hope you will develop them more than the anime developed Kawahara.  He was about the dullest supporting charater in the anime to me and almost didn't seem to have much of a purpose being there.  Then again, being that the twins are not even Earthlings, I'm sure a lot will develop with them.

Regarding Minawa and Hamaji, it seems that Minawa is starting to learn the physical effects of love, even if she doesn't understand them.  However, the emotional basis which is usually behind those physical actions still seems missing.  I hope this is an area for development in the future.  It will defeinitely be a mutual development, since I'm not sure Hamaji has known Minawa long enough to really know her in great depth yet, which leads me to my next thought.  I was thinking that Mahoro and Suguru have been through a LOT since they met, allowing their relationship to grow close.  Minawa and Hamaji have not had many of these types of "bonding experiences", and so can never be nearly as close.  The only one I can think of is the Valentines Day episode, which was nothing like Mahoro and Suguru's experiences both with the Ryuga battle and when Mahoro was captured.  This might be a great area for future character development, and I hope you have this type of interaction planned if things are to work out between these two, even if not nearly as dramatic or action-packed (since most people don't develop relationships out of extreme circumstances, anyway).  I guess something like a date or other interactions seems appropriate, though we will have to wait and see what's in store!

Also, thanks for the comments on Mahoro's changes.  This should be my last comment on whether she can have kids.  I suppose it's the realist in me, but understanding the physical side of how babies are formed, this is a human-only process, which separates Mahoro.  Eggs are formed when a female baby is still developing within the mother, and when they run out over the woman's lifespan, that's it - the woman is sterile.  I would just need some real good storyline behind it if this barrier were overcome in a future episode, to help my mind get over it.  Also, I don't see Suguru as the kind who would "boink" Mahoro at every chance.  He's better than that.  And would Mahoro allow him?  I doubt it!

You asked for other comments, even small ones, so here are two things I thought about recently.  I was watching through the episodes recently and noticed that the freinds don't use "-san" when talking with each other, other than Mahoro-san (which you put the kabosh on at least between Mahoro and Suguru - thanks!).  The rest have been friends so long that the "san" must have been dropped.  Also, they use the short names, i.e. Chizu instead of Chizuko, Hamaji instead of Hamaguchi, and so on.  Not seeing this in the episodes you are writing threw me off a little, though this is definitely something MINOR.  Just an observation I noted.

The only other thing I miss which you can only get in the anime is Mahoro's constant singing and humming of her little songs.  Here's another great reason to hope your story gets animated some day!

Thanks again for your hard work in assembling these stories!  It truly is a work of art.  Please continue to take my postings with a grain of salt, as it's just my thoughts to discuss, and should not keep you from writing YOUR work.

Chris

[Dr Memory]

I present Episode 11 of Mahoromatic -- New Beginnings, "Return"

Now some comments on the comments.

I have an idea of what the twins look like but unfortunately I am not an artist (I can't draw a straight line with a ruler).  I can though give you a verbal description of how I visualize them.  The twins at this point are identical.  The are about five foot, seven inches tall (about 170 cm) and are of thin build.  The have long light blonde hair and blue-ish green eyes.  They also have slightly distinctive (slightly pointed chins).  Otherwise they are of "normal" human appearance.  They are both soft spoken, but at least at this point Kaito is the more dominent of the two (Riku seems somewhat shy).

It would be great if someone could draw them.

I will admit that I am probably using the honorifics a bit more that I might, but after speaking with someone who has some experience with such things (he is living in Japan and is married to a Japanese woman), the "-kun" and "-chan" honorifics are even used between bey close friends as terms of endearment (even between people who have known each other for most of their lives).  But wait, even that will change as relationships change (and mature); no tweaks required.

Minawa and Hamaji go have some growing to do, but more of that in the next few episodes.

We already know that Matthew can present "him"self in a number of different ways (at least in the Manga and from my first episode). And the ending might light an alarm light about a previous episode.  And then again who looks like who>

Please don't be disapointed if this back story is not used right away.   New Beginnings has a somewhat compressed time line compared to the other seasons.  If I get a chance to prep it, I will include my timeline chart as an add in (at least for the episodes so far).

Thank you very much again.  Just remember, salt is a very important seasoning.  We can't live without it.

[cnjgp7]

I must have logged on at just the right time, 'cause episode 11 was there and just begging to be read.  I must say I enjoyed this episode.  Plus it looks like Chizu is starting to mature a bit more.  She was always my favorite character, though she always needed a little more developing in my opinion.  I'm happy she is finally changing after two seasons of the constant Chizu.  Just don't change her too much!       I can't think of anything specific for constructive critisism right now, though if something comes to mind, I'll let you know.  Thanks again - keep up the great work!

Chris

ps - I think my suspicions about Saint may have more of a basis in reality now.  It will be fun to watch it all pan out!

[Dr Memory]

I present (hopefully) for your pleasure the 12th Episode of Mahoromatic -- New Beginnings, Arrival.

As always, I look forward to your comments.

[Dr Memory]

I present this week's installment of Mahoromatic -- New Beginnings -- Episode 13 -- Media

Your comments about Mahoro and Suguru are well taken, but Mahoro (as well as some of the other characters) are growing and evolving.  You may still find some interesting twists in future episodes.

This is the halfway point of the story.  Next week I will begin a new thread and download episodes 1 through 13 zipped together and post episode 14 separately.

I am currently working on episode 6 of a fourth season and although most of my 26 episode sequence is storyboarded, there are still a few empty slots.  Random ideas are always welcome.

[Dr Memory]

Thank you very much.  I missed that one.

As you may have figured out, I have not personally been to Japan.  Most of my information is from research on the web and from people I know who have been there or in one case living there now (as a high school English teacher).

Actually, I did know about the robes, but I found that information after I had written a few episodes.  I made the changes in most places, but I missed that one.  Thank you very much.

Here is a repost of Episode 13.  The change is minor, but it does not suggest that they were walking around without benefit of robes.

Thank you again

[Dr Memory]

Actually what I was after was just a bit of turn around, with the girls getting a 'bit of a show', more than likely as the boys exit the hot spring to retrieve their robes.  That is the sense I was after.

[DrizzlingEnthalpy]

This is my first post here, but I've been reading your story since the beginning. I am completely amazed at how well you transitioned the characters, I felt as if I were actually reading the true continuation of the story written by one of the original writers as opposed to one by a fan. It really helped with the disgruntled feelings the anime's official ending left me with.

Note, though, that I'm rather surprised after having read all of them up to this point at Mahoro's evolution in particular. She seems now to be the ecchiest character in the whole group, and it's kind of hard imagining her as the same person as in the series before. It kind of ruins her elegance/cuteness a bit for me. Though their relationship is treated quite tastefully, it seems like a real stretch to imagine the same Mahoro from the anime saying Suguru has a "cute tush" compared to her vehement exclamations that all dirty thoughts were bad before.

That's really my only complaint, and I'm amazed at how logically everything has followed through and that the plot twists were all very believable.

Oh... wait. One more thing. I thought Feldrance destroyed Suguru's house in episode 12 of Season Two. Minor detail, but it would have a huge effect on what happens after Suguru's return.

[Dr Memory]

I guess my veiw was that he house was damages, not destroyed, but as noted in episode 2 here, Vesper took care of the necessary repairs.

Nice catch on Mahoro, but we are only half way though the seaon